If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
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