if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
