My hair reeks of homosexuality.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
you never un-have a 4some
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
