Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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