I'm really into asian looking animals
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Church boner. Awkwardddd
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize