I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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