When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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