we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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