I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
We left the knife in your bed.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
