What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Randomize
