I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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