I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
