I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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