are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
