I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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