Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
