his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
