i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
