I'm jealous of your bromance
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.Â
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
