I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
