super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
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