then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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