the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
