Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
