so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
