If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
