this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize