whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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