She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
