i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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