Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
