Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
did i just pee glitter
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
