Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
