Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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