So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I am full of burrito and curiosity
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
