Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
the condom got lost in my hair
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
