yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
