no, he came in my armpit
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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