tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Someone shattered a urinal.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
