16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
