Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
