3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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