you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
