Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
