There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
