I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
