I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
