3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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