drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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