can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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