How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
