Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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