highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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