i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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