to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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