theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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