Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
