Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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