You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
