so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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