this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
